Training Log : 2.4km time trial

2.4km time trial, sound so unfamiliar to me. I guess I had my previous 2.4km time trial in my secondary day and the last time I did a timed 2.4km was the NAFA test during my last year of polytechnic. After committing to a serious training for a year, today is the day to put it to a test. Dislike trial because it is just unnecessary stress. Rushed to training after work, did my warm up but doesn't feel good. Kept talking positive to myself. Did a quick stretch because all my juniors had done their warm up. Target: 12minutes Judging from my interval training, I'm doing around 1:53 per round, this target is reasonable. Time starts, everyone breath hard as they drive each step. First lap was terrible, did too fast, 1:48min. Lactic acid started to build up and my mouth began to dry up. Switch off by then, just focusing on putting a leg forward at each time. Maintained 1:55 for the 2nd and 3rd lap. Unfortunately, I got tired and started going slower. Timer keep beeping(1:55 interval) at 350m. Which means I'm 50m slower than target. Last lap was a torture I would say. Mental is weak. Honestly, I was on the verge of giving up. "last lap, I can't just waste my effort!" Last 50m I gave my last shot, crossing the finishing line with the timing of 11:50. Well done Madeline, I hit my target. Was a good fight, especially the senior boys! They showed me what is running with boldness, doing a sub 8 for their 2.4km.

Happy Father's day

June came too fast. Spent the last week of May thinking of what I want to achieve. Unclear; but somehow figured out what I want and committed that in prayers. Unsure; but took a leap of faith trusting God will make a way and closes all doors that are against His way. Things aren't that smooth recently but I guess I have to learn to deal with it. Feeling down but still believing.

Filled with doubts, not in God but in my abilities. However, in my incapability its somehow portrait God greatness in my life.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:13

I am so thankful that I am a daughter of Christ. Not because I am worthy, but because He chose me. God who has a reputation to uphold still accepted me eventhough I am so

undeserving. No words can describe how thankful I am.
"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him." - Matthew 7:11

If my earthly parent can gives me good gifts, what's more that my heavenly Father cannot gives.

My earthly father loves me alot. Just that he doesn't know how express it.

I always hope to have a better relationship with my father. Not in any way that he is bad but he is a tradition chinese man that takes no jokes and no nonsense. We seldom exchange words at home and we don't share common topic. Always portrait a strict and stern look. Most of my growing up decisions were made by myself (which also means I have to bear all consequences), but at the same time he ensure that i do not go off track. Eg, in order to keep me away from bad influence, curfew was implemented to prevent me from coming home late and no stay over at chalet. And he was so suspicion whenever i mixed with male friends, this often lead us to quarrels. These were things that eventually cause our relationship to be far apart.

I have my dreams to chase but at the same time there will always be a opposing force holding me back because trying to be a good daughter my dad wants is not easy. The lack of communication and understanding eventually aggravate our relationship and it came to a point that we stop talking to each other.

If I did not remember wrongly, we have not been talking for almost 2 years. It was hurtful. Tears filled my eyes when this topic is being brought up and I will secretly cry at night. I could only get comfort from my bedtime prayers.  

My prayers are heard though it does not come instantly. I could not understand how and don't know when my relationship with my dad become better, but I thank God for this. We start to talk about things that we usually don't and he will ask me to watch some youtube clips on his phone. Simple gestures remind me of how close we used to be when I were just a child.

My dad (a non believer) may not knows that my prayer was answered but I reckon this is the best father's day gift God has given to him and me.

What Sundown Organiser did not tell me

This was what happened during Sundown 2012. I was delayed by 15min before I could start my run.

Sundown Marathon 2012

This is my very first Sundown. Excited to achieve my personal best (pb) timing for my 21km. Different experience I would say. All my previous races were held in the morning, i do not need to spend the time waiting for my race (wake up & just run).

The reasons not participating sundown previously were partly the start time & the route; in previous years, participants had to climb overhead bridge. So why I participate this year? There are 2 main reasons, 1) I can't participate in Standard Chart Marathon at the end of the year because I wont be in Singapore, so I decided to take part in other event 2) They change the route to be in town, passing by attractive landmarks. But I'm very disappointed with their organizing committee.

Sundown 2012 Map

My Experience
As most of you have read that on the newspaper,  "The Sundown Marathon, touted as Singapore's biggest night race" - The Straitstimes. I believe everyone runs for a reason. Some would like to just spend time with family & friends. For me, I would like to beat my personal best.


Arrived at Nicoll Highway that night, I went to queue up in the allocated slot. Eager to start my run. When the flag rose, runners started to run... but to my horror, my section was block from starting, letting those last minutes runners that did not queue up to enter through the side. I WAITED FOR 15 MINUTES?! This is totally unacceptable. Opening up the side just let everyone the opportunity to cut the queue even though they do not intend to finish the race in a faster timing.

"Please stand in your estimated completion time zone for a comfortable start pace." But this did not happened that day!

When it was my turn to cross the start line, the front had been filled with joggers & walkers. I spent 5km dodging my way through. All my energy wasted on this. Irritated. To make thing worst, sundown combined the start time of the 42km & the 21km, which mean there will be a human jam (which really happened) but the organizing committee only allocated ONE road lane opened up for the runners. Badly organized.


Frustrated but trying to stay focus. God suddenly whispered to me "Would you continue running for me or for your dream even if there are so many barriers in front of you?" Of course not, I'm very certain about it. That was my only motivation to keep me going for that night.

After I hit the 10km, I was making a decision if I should take my power gel because I was having some indigestion issue recently. I wouldn't want to vomit after taking, so I decided to give it a miss. It was really a run using sheer power & God given strength. Panic at the same time; i missed my spilt time by 2min. I am suppose to be doing a 6min 10sec per km but with the human jam & the energy wasted, I clocked 8min per km. My watch keep beeping every 6min but I just can't make it on target.

I gave up with my plan & decided to just go with my pace. Nothing came smooth that night. When I reached Marina South, there was a road block for 1 min, letting the construction truck passed while all the runners waited. "HUH?!" That was my only response. Totally frustrated by then. Luckily I have Aaron beside me to keep asking me to stay focus.

It wasn't easy & was praying that I would not be off timing too much. Lactic acid started to build up at 13km. Why?! I have not experienced lactic acid in any 21km race before (I think it could be the sport massage which I may not get used to). I still have 8km to go & my ankles were not feeling comfortable too, because I ran too much on the pavement. The only thing on my mind was keep counting down the km left and just keep up with Aaron.
The remaining 1.5km was a struggle, to walk or not to because my leg was really in pain. Nonetheless, my stubborness pushed me to run even if I have to drag myself til the finishing line. 


I completed my run in 2hr 18min. 2min off my targeted time. Disappointed & alot of discomfort but I'm glad that I had this experience. Good time spent with Aaron who usually not that patient with me (It was tough for him too because this is not the pace he does). Good time spent with God as well. Did not expect HIM to appear to me at such moment. 

Well Synchronized

First race with my braces on

Hmm... conslusion is maybe this will be my last Sundown. Unless there is any unforeseen circumstance. Nonetheless, Aaron was a good pacer & motivator.

Singapore Aquathlon 19th May 2012

Had my morning run at ECP that day & I did the dumbest thing of all in my entire running endeavours. A runner doesn't has his/her running shoe, is like a writer without his/her pen and/or shitting without toilet paper. How does that happened to me? I have been running for 15 years & I can forget to bring my running shoe! Oh gosh! Can't believe I did that but Aaron will always say "that's not common". "No!" I defended. "I may forget to take my house key, my wallet or my hand phone but no way...." But I feel like boxing myself. I have to explain myself: I took my shoe bag not check what is inside assume that it is my running shoe. How hilarious it is! Aaron was really patient with me that morning (he usually don't. How sweet of him to do that knowing that I'm so stress at work recently) & drove me home to collect it & head back to ecp again. I set a new limit to my forgetfulness & blur-ness. (keep rolling my eye on myself).

Anyway that not what the main thing I want to share about.

I stayed a little longer after my run to watch the race. The first 2 waves are the juniors girls & boys from 7-10 years old. They are so cute. I'm so encouraged by their boldness to swim in the open water. The race encompass of 200m swim + 1km run. The fastest boy & girl completed the race in 11min15sec & 11min32sec respectively. Why are they so brave?! Or am I so weak? Haha.

Something that caught my attention is their parents are so enthusiastic! They run with them after their swim to the transition pit. Woah, such an encouraging parents they got. Hope that my mum & dad were there to see me complete when i'm young too. One dad in particular, grab out the water bottle & passed it to his exhausted boy. So heart-warming. Parent always expect their children to performance mainly in their studies but these group of parent definitely understand the importance of having a balance life.

"Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us." - Hebrews 12:1

I want to be like them when i'm a parent myself.

June is coming

Wow... Time flies! It is almost the end of May. Which means we have come to the half way mark of 2012. Have you achieve any pointers from your resolution? 

I don't think I even set one for 2012. I guess December is always my busiest month of the year especially last year. Usually December is a month for church camp, Christmas & thanksgiving, but in 2011 I skipped all this to attend my friend's wedding in Cambodia. It was a eye opener & a good culture exchange. Looking back, I think i should start some post on the places I visited to share my experiences & the things I learn from each trip. I love traveling because it allow me to understand the cultures and appreciate Singapore better.

Fruit basket to bless the newly wed

Back track. Since I have not set any resolution for 2012, let me set one for the remaining months. Recently, this phase keep appearing "To be a better person" & this strike something in me. I guess for the longest time I think I am doing fine in term of my attitude. I don't get into any arguments, I am easy going, accommodating, patient & kind with words towards people. But I am hard on myself in term of performance. I was told that I am a very performance-driven person & rather a perfectionist. But there is something about me that I not good enough, I'm not daring enough, not bold enough to fulfill the dream I always wanted. I may be kind & gracious to others that are mean to me but inside me i keep complaining. I believe all these aren't the most positive way to handle things. I have not come out with way to tackle this issue but I will soon. I guess I have to set a boundary & limit in order not to allow people to take advantage of me but at the same time handle it with graciousness. Sound hard, indeed it is. How? I guess I have to pray hard for this. 

How this got to do with being a better person you may ask. But I guess I have to first love myself truly (I mean truly not selfishly) first in order to spread the excess to the people around me. I have to be truly myself so that those around me can feel my sincerity I guess. 

Probably I will take this last week of May to review & jot down the things that I really want to achieve & how to be a better person. Life has be monotonous; doing the things that I do not enjoy most everyday with the mental torture I get. The only things that keep me going is attending my training, where I get to meet a group of fun people. I intention there is to encourage this youngsters but in return I think I get more from them. I so motivated by their enthusiasm in running, which i think the flame in me has almost gone (noting that I have been running for almost 15 years but stop competing for awhile because of some reasons). Love the vibe they have. "Giving is a gift itself" 

Bluey SEOW & BBJ SEOW

Bluey - Australian shepherd
"Bring Me Home" face

BBJ - shetland sheepdog
"I'm a sleep Beauty"

Have been busy with work lately and things aren't getting easy. But I choose to believe and stay focus.
These are 2 cutie pies of Seow Family. Bluey is in Australia; BBJ is in SIngapore but is a true Australian Sheltie. BBJ is my happy portion. She like to be pampered by trying to cuddle with me. The photo above shows a photo of her sleeping on my lap till I get pin & needles on my leg.


Hope these cute little thing motivate me today as well as putting a smile on your face.

Juzz up Work Desk

My work cubicle is in a mess now with all the folders & documents. It is quite a boring place to face it all day long. But I invited a few guests & put some items to cheer me up. 

I ♥ this

Love this dress. Seldom will I be attracted to bright coloured dresses, but this make my skin tone look so healthy & tone. Reluctantly gave it up because it is too short for me. 

I received a strawberry rose today! Don't you think it look so alike? Some little things like this could just brighten up your day if you choose to be happy. My days maybe bad most of the time but I choose to believe that there is a sunshine after the rain.

I give thanks for the blessings & I choose to praise the Lord during the difficult times. Sound easy, but it is real tough coming to act in faith. I can complain like mad but ultimately I repent knowing that God has the best plan install for me. Will keep proclaiming until I finally get the joy that God has for me.

You have a choice too, God allows us to make the choice. I choose the narrow path that lead to heaven, hoping that I can finish the race, how about you? 

Manage to create that rose because the strawberry was so big!

Smile because I choose to.

I'm Back with New Hopes

Wow! I have not been blogging for almost 3 years. Life has been quite rough for me in the passed years. But Im back with new hopes & faith like a mustard seed. It was tough but thank God for being merciful & gracious. It was a period of trials but I would say it was period where I learnt about humility while being in the world of reality.

Yes, it was definitely a period that I wouldn't want to be back but I won't deny that God places wonderful moments & people around me so that I could stand up and continue the journey. No weapon formed against you shall prosper - Isaiah 54:17. Pastor once shared that the weapon can be formed but no none can prosper. These words are so powerful. I may feel that the weapons are surrounding me right now but they are no gonna hurt me, instead it will make me to be a stronger person.

This is just a warm up post & hope that I continue from here... Stay tune!

The sun will still shines for you!

So encouraging

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.

But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward.

That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that! "

- from Yasin's blog

Thanks Yasin, it encourages me at e same point of time too...

The Gift of Worship

The Gift Of Worship

I ask God, "Why am I still alive?"
With His gentle and Fatherly voice, He replied, "Because I love you."

Why the wall remain untouch till recent?

God places different ppl in our lives at different period of our lives. He has His purposes; He put ppl into our lives to give you support, to let you give support, to brighten your life, to strenghten you or to comfort you. And every encounter is different. The ultimate reason is because He loves you. =)

God is always embracing us with His love; His Love cannot be measured instantly....
Instant love means ppl love you for a period of time and die off... But God love is different.

Was studying hard for my upcoming midterm and suddenly started praising God.
Praised God for His love for me.
How amazing it is!
He knows my dream, he knows how much I wanted to enter Uni since young. He knows everything. Though my results wasn't as good as compared to others, but He still provide me with Uni. I wasn't good in sec, everyone probably think I'll end after Poly. Though I wasn't the material for Uni but He still provide. It's tough now in Uni, really tough, but i know He will see me through like He see me through secondary and poly.

Though I always dun do well even I really put alot of effort, but he still provide Uni for me. That's him. He see you through and till the end. You may not feel His presence but He is always by your side. That's Him. No matter how we fail Him, He will never fail us. That's Him.... That's my Lord, Jesus.

Maddy

Thankgiving to 2007

Thankgiving to 2007

2007 was a yr of sufferings and it had nt been gd for me. Despite the downs, there were a few ups as well. As the saying goes: God wont give us what we cant bear.

In e first half of e yr, I was struggling to do well in the working society; trying to cope and handle with the politics that is a well known thing in e office. As a newbie, nt everyone was as mercy as they shld be, but God is gd, He also ppl that are gd as well. The best thing is, God love everyone even they r gd or bad; the reason is, He has to love what He has created. God provided christian colleagues to light my life, seniors that are willing to guide and also provide a person that is dear to me so that i can hang on a little longer. I thank God for Angeline who really help me up alot in the office and also help me to grow in God alittle more. Being a working adult is a totally diff experience and I really thank God for tt.

For those that jus happened to pop by my blog, I wanna say to u is tt, do let the past be the past, anything tt was unpleasant leave it with 2007. Forgive those that had done wrong to u. For God says: Do nt judge and you will nt be judged. Do nt condemn, and u will nt be condemned. Forgive, and u will be forgiven. ---Luke 6:37. For God so love me that He can forgive the sin that i Have made, I want to let go all disappointments and wanna announce tt I have forgiven those that wasnt tt nice to me. Nevertheless, these were e ppl tt brought spice to my life. I do sincerely thank you.

God is always good!!! He is always a good organiser, He always has his timing for his plans; As I will always say, "GOd has a good plan for our future!"

I was so disappointed when I was rejected by NIE in yr 2006 for the 2007 intake, despite attaining a gd result in poly. Disappointed with God but He is surely glad tt im still believing in Him. Wanna shout to God that He will always be my God. In the mid of yr 2007, I received a confirmation letter from Uni. Nt 1 local Uni but 2.

Before stepping into the Uni life, God knows how much I would like to help up with the troubled teens and I was given an opportunity to help up in a gals' home. The experience was gd, an eye opener, and definitely learned alot from the friends there and also the gals.

Tough things are always all ard us. The phrase in Uni wasnt a smooth sailing one too. It all started even from the start. I felt so intimated by those that are younger n definitely much more clever students. Confident level was down to the seabed. I tried to pull up myself but to no avail. One thing that I can testify was that without confident things really will nt be that smooth sailing. The only thing now is to really gain back my confident.

Projects came rolling in even from the starts of the term and had v close deadlines, and what the profs teaches in class are like totally aliens while some JC graduates are like their best frens. Tons of books had to be read for self study purposes. The most stressful thing was, students keep saying GSR were fully booked and students grapping their lunch boxes rushing to their destinations.

The only thing that I do is... GOD PLS HELP ME!!!

As a young christian like me, I was pulling my ear long, hoping to switch on my 'Godwave', so that I will know how to handle the situation. God was gracious to me, He provided christian friends so that we can worship God in sch and taking a breath from the busy school life. I will never say e term was easy but I will proudly proclaim tt I have survived becos God see me thru. Some ppl do nt understand why I was so stressed up but He knows. "...God knows everythings" -- 1 John 3:20.

For this, I would like to thank God for ppl like michelle and my LTB mates. They are like the ppl that God has planted them into my path. And definitely my parent that tried so hard to understand my hardship, church friends that always keep me in prayers and my supporter that God has ask him to guide me to be a lady for God.

God is always Good. We may nt knows the reason for the thing that had happened ard us, but we will soon realise God is always good to us. The year was tough but I had a wonderful provided hoilday to sum up the year.

God, there are too much thing that I wan to thank you but tt will be countless, but what has been given to me, let's it be praises back to u. God, let submit myself to in the 2008, so that I can be mighty used by U.

Child of God- Maddy Chan

God make my day in school

After for weeks and months of struggles in school... Today is my happiest day. When things seen like out of control and physically drained, God brighten the moment once again. Seeing someone being save and coming back to the Lord just make me feel so charged up again. All those sufferings are worth it just to wait for this day. Thanks God for putting me in SMU for a purpose and to know friends that worth to mix around. So blessed. Father i pray that along this journey in SMU let me learn to depend on you for strength and the choices i make. God, let me be drawn closer to you. Live is really more interesting to have God around. Thank you, God. Father, you has made my day.

Always the child of God

First day of school

First day of school lei.... OMG! So nervous la! it's 2.15pm now, waiting for lesson at 3.30pm. Wondering who will be in my class? Wonder how the lecturer will be like. Is it going to be tough? Lots of thoughts floating across my mind. Actually suppose to read up e lecture note but im seriously too nervous. The only thing i can do is to blog this out and chat with my oji-san only.... But I really thank God for e opporunity to be in SMU. I reakon it will be a tough 4yrs study but im more confident tt God will be with me. Stay tune for More news is to be coming up later...

Who am I

Who am I?

That the Lord of all the earth, Would care to know my name, Would care to feel my hurt.

Who am I?

That the bright and morning star, Would choose to light the way, For my ever wondering heart.

Not because of who I am.

But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.

But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow.

A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind.

Still you hear me when I'm calling,

Lord you catch me when I'm falling,

And you told me who I am.

I am yours.

I am yours.

Who am I?

That the eyes that see my sin Would look on me with love And watch me rise again

Who am I?

That the voice that calm the sea, Would call out through the rain, And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am.

But because what of you've done.

Not because of what I've done.

But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow.

A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind.

Still you hear me when I'm calling,

Lord you catch me when I'm falling,

And you told me who I am.

I am yours.

I am yours.

Father at this v pt when im breaking down, you show me who I am. I am Yours!